This is the handiwork of the infamous Leon who posted it on today on rec.jewish.humor. ==== When Queen Elizabeth heard rumors that Parliament was planning to tax the royal family on the same basis as private individuals, she began searching for a good tax advisor. She asked several billionaires and each whispered, "Max Pincus". She turned to the Intelligence services to locate Max Pincus and received a report. Max, the report said, lives in Brooklyn, New York where he makes a living betting on horses at OTB. However, the report went on, there are rumors about Max making huge fees as an unregistered tax advisor. But since he is a heavy contributor to both political parties, the IRS and the rest of the government leaves him alone.
Through her embassy, it was arranged for Max to travel to London on a RAF transport and meet with the Queen secretly. "Have your husband and your accountant there," Max e-mailed.
At the palace, Max pored over the Queen's complicated financial reports. Since she was known to be the richest woman in the world, Max took his time reading every paper. Finally, after two days of reading and questioning, he sat down with the Queen, Prince Philip and two chartered accountants.
"Foist," Max said, "because I got a Brooklyn accent, I will speak slowly. However, there are some woids better said in Yiddish, so if I use any, axe me fer a translation, but it won't be as good."
"Queenie, you should shtup some gelt into trust funds for the aineklach. Forever you ain't gonna live and the inheritance taxes will fressen up your estate vi a chazzer. Next, you should write out of your will that shmegegi, your son Charles. He has enough estate to feed the Weimeraner he married and he ain't gonna have no more kids."
"Then you should move your tuchus and quickly set up a couple trusts for any charities you want to help." But before he could continue, Prince Philip interrupted. "I say. I would prefer if you would speak English. And I must insist on more respect when addressing her majesty."
Elizabeth turned to the Prince and, with a withering glance, said, "Phillip, please stop the narishkeit and let Mr. Pincus proceed. He obviously has the sechel I need to cover my ass." == Translation by Dick Adams:
-------------------------- "Queenie, you should stash some cash into trust funds for da grandkids. Forever you ain't gonna live and the inheritance taxes will eat up your estate like a pig. Next, you should write that putz, your son Charles, out of your will, He has enough estate to feed that hunting dog* he married and he ain't gonna have no more kids - at least not with her. Then set up some trusts for any charities you help. On that you gonna wanta move your ass quickly."
With that Prince Philip had had ebough and abruptly interrupted. "I say. While I would prefer if you would speak proper English, I must insist you show more respect when addressing Her Majesty the Queen."
Elizabeth glanced at the Prince and, in a scolding tone, said, "Phillip, knock off your pompous shtick and let Mr. Pincus continue. Can't you see he's got da smarts I'm gonna need to cover my tooch?"
Dick
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