Care needs to be taken with victims of sexual assault SUNSHINE DALTON, Staff Writer
04/13/2008April is national Sexual Assault Awareness Month and statistics show that children and adolescents are victimized most.
"I naturally have power over a child, because I am an adult," said Vicky-lynn Anderson, sexual abuse advocate and public educator with Catholic Charities Phoenix House.
Night terrors, abrupt changes in sleeping, eating and other behavior patterns could be indicators of child sexual abuse. Aggressive behavior and problems with authority may be more than rebellion.
"There are so many scenarios involved," Anderson said. "They feel damaged, dirty and different from other kids."
Children that are sexually violated suffer from major trust issues, low self-esteem, learning problems, anger, guilt shame, self-destructive behavior, depression, anxiety and fear.
They have confusion about sexual identities and behaviors. If the perpetrator is a loved one or caretaker, the child may wonder about their role within his or her family.
These are reasons that children are reluctant to tell anyone about the bad things happening to them.
"Most victims, especially kids, will test the person they're going to tell before they disclose," Anderson said. "They're checking to see if they can keep a secret or really listen."
Studies have shown that the entire healing process hinges on the response that child receives the first time they tell someone.
"If the reaction is negative they are not likely to tell anyone else," Anderson said. "They need someone in their corner."
Anderson said "I love you," "I believe you," and "I will stand behind you," are helpful reactions.
"It is so important for that child to feel like they are surrounded by adults that care," she added. "They just want to feel normal."
Which is one reason that 85 to 90 percent of children who have revealed sexual abuse will take it back, according to Anderson.
"Very rarely are they recanting because they lied and it didn't happen," Anderson said. "It may be a response to threats, and there's a lot of pressure from a lot of angles."
The best action at that point is to continue providing unconditional support.
"Tell them they don't have to make a decision right now and that you would support them if they think it's too much," Anderson said.
Those who suspect a child is being abused should talk to them first. Child Protective Services and law enforcement should be notified to keep a victim safe and ultimately, the offender should be charged by the state.
"I've been really impressed with the Pottawattamie County Attorneys," Anderson said. "They do a great job with children, and they really know what it takes to get a conviction."
Probably the most important thing adults can do is to prevent sexual assault. Teach them basic sex education and that advances by adults are wrong and against the law.
"Teach them not to ignore their body signals when they get uncomfortable," Anderson said. "It's embarrassing when they are forced to show affection and be physical with adults."
Do not instruct children to give hugs and kisses to relatives, but let them express affection on their own.
"Give them some measure of control over getting to make decisions," Anderson said.
Children are trusting and dependant and will often do what is asked of them to gain approval and love. Adults need to watch out for people who would take advantage of that.