finance jokes

Here's one: A new, cheap way for the govt to refinance: the zero coupon perpetuity. Uncle Sam'll take your $10,000 and then'll it'll accrue interest...forever!!! You just lost $10,000!!!

Or, sign's you're at a bad bank:

When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house begging for toast Your monthly statements are handwritten in crayon When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don't speak English

You notice Kato Kaelin sleeping in the vault Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin' Donuts carton wrapped in tinfoil All cash deposits go directly into teller's pants Lobby is waist-deep in Mexican pesos Toll free customer service line is 1-800-GET HOSED Four words: Bank President Rosa Lopez Instead of compounding your money, they discount it. Your checks in your checkbook are handwritten They have not quite understood the concept of a "loan" yet

Can anyone think of more?

I think that ones wrong, should be men, not women!

"Dear Valued Bank Manager, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month..."

Nonono.

"What's the difference between a Eurobond and a Eurobond dealer? The Eurobond finally matures."

Have a look at the 'Accountancy Music Charts' on:

CPI...

Three econometrists go hunting. They spot a deer. The first econometrist shoots and misses to the left by a yard. The second econometrist shoots and misses to the right by a yard. The third econometrist whoops and yells "We got it! We got it!"

...the fourth, House Price Crash economist, says 'the deer will be shot at some time in the future so lets get the barbeque started now"