There is "stupidity" and there is "lack of common sense". You can have one,
the other or both. But "stupidity" is NOT "lack of common sense".
True enough. But is that nature or nurture? We (my generation of mothers)
are trying to reprogram our daughters that marriage is NOT the only option
for them, as our mothers were taught.
Duh. Read below. We marry what we know, what we learn from our parents is
"normal". Did you not read my whole post? I said a woman who grows up with
an alcoholic or abusive father will TEND to marry an alcoholic or abuser. A
man who grows up with a shrew or a doormat for a mother, TENDS to marry a
woman who is a shrew or a doormat. Products of our environment.
I MEAN, it is NOT just women who initiate the divorce process. Men do to. So
you CANNOT blame ALL divorces on women.
Again, we are talking nature vs. nurture. For millennia men have been
programmed that a woman who will do as she is told is a better wife than one
who will not. But that does not mean that having a woman with a brain for a
wife is exclusive of having one who IS pleasant, cooperative, and
*MY* ex husband was a jerk. He treated me like his personal slave caring for
our son, home, finances, AND him, PLUS had a full time job, PLUS was
attending college to obtain a professional designation. THEN he goes and has
an affair with a mutual friend. I busted my ASS for him, and it wasn't good
My current husband contributes and SUPPORTS me (not meaning financially).
AND he gets off his ass and does his fair share of work for our household.
AND he likes that I have a brain and can think outside the box.
Pretend all you like, you're not going to undo millions of years of
evolution. Sorry. Darwin's holding a handful of trumps.
We normally don't encounter a lot of opportunities to completely leave
our home culture. But some people certainly do so.
So will a woman born to a mother who preferred such men but who was
_adopted_ into a home _without_ an alcoholic or abusive father.
Or heredity. Duh.
And I see many, many exceptions to that rule, so many that it looks to
me like genes can probably explain _all_ of the correlation.
I was not talking about "blame." But certainly many more divorces are
initiated by women.
Uh, I have news for you: cet.par., a woman who will do as she is told
_is_ a better wife than one who will not, and cultural "programming"
has nothing to do with men preferring the former to the latter. It's
just common sense, like hiring employees who will do as they are told
and not argue with their supervisors.
And obedient. Right.
Why'd you marry him, then?
?? What are you talking about? Sure it was good enough. You have
fundamentally misunderstood the nature of what occurred, including
both his and your own motivations. He was not unhappy with you or
your marriage. He was happy as a pig in shit. He just wanted more,
and your till-then compliant attitude led him to believe he could
probably have it. It was _you_ who decided that _he_ (i.e., his
infidelity) wasn't good enough for _you_.
Imagine what would have happened if, on learning of the affair, you
had simply followed through on your habit of serving him, and
encouraged him to enjoy himself -- if you had just happily shared him
with your friend, talked about him with her over coffee, etc. He
would have thought he'd died and gone to heaven. And really, what
would you have lost?
Well, why would you have married anyone who _didn't_ like the fact
that you have a brain?
-- Roy L
Feynman sold to YOU and other naive physicists. fact is, he only got
laid a handful of times and
made it sound like a lot in his books. so, compare to the physics
nerds, he was "successful" with women. But compared to any normal guy,
he was a total deadbeat.
Feynman was the quintessintial nerd sitting in the corner scribbling
into cocktail napkins that nobody paid attention to -- except the $10
hooker looking to score $10. And if he "scored" with the hooker, he
would play up the story to make it appeared as if he nailed marilyn
monroe. And only the physics nerds would actual believe this story...
Hi Misseur_Kool, You asked me:
Did we really need to know that you were neutered ?
Well... it was essential to understanding what I wrote... you genius.
You keep saying No_Money_No_Honey,
but Fuzzy's dad, my friend's father, is a penniless leech,
a nominally worthless bum, who has fathered 21 kids with 19 women.
Perhaps rock stars' chicks are sexier than physics professors', perhaps not,
but I doubt that most women care about money to the extent that you think.
Wealth is relative, there's always someone poorer than you.
Many women will want you if you have youth or desire to father kids.
Duckie is a girl that's rooming with me, along with her boyfriend Ethen.
Her 86 year old father, Dick, has Duckie's mom, an overly_devoted wife,
plus a mistress with whom he's having more kids, as well as other women.
He's very broke, very old and very ugly... but women still chase after him.
Why ? Because he has, likes and wants lots of kids.
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