Strongest man contest

Apr 26, 2007 3 Replies

A local restaurant was so sure that its host was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet. The host would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win $1,000.



Many people tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it.



Then one day, this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."



After the laughter had died down, the host said "OK," grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and two drops fell into the glass.



As the crowd cheered, the host paid the $1000 and shook his hand. Surprised by the lack of strength in the man's hand, the host asked "You do not appear to be that strong. How were you able to squeeze out those last drops



The man replied, "I work for the IRS.



Dick



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I heard that at a college reunion, where the punch line was "I'm a fund-raiser for a small, liberal arts college!"

Gee, as a retired subhuman knuckledragging Gestapolike IRS collection thug I didn't see that one coming. Sadly, I retired without ever winning an employee contest. My suggested motto, "No turnip left unsqueezed," didn't win (probably too many duplicates), nor did they take my suggestion to replace the eagle on the logo with Bob the Buzzard.

-- Phil Marti Clarksburg, MD

Dick Adams As the crowd cheered, the host paid the $1000 and shook his

When Gilligan's boat was lost, Thurston Howell was worried. Nobody knew where they were, and nobody would even be looking for them. He was afraid he'd spend the rest of his life on that little island. "But dear," his wife injected, "did you file the tax return yet this year?" "Me? No. I thought you were going to file it."

"Not me, dear. But that's the good news."

"The good news?"

"The IRS will find us."

Stu

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