How the hell do I buy a house

Find yourself a divorcee with her own place its the easiest option.

Never thought of that - good idea but wife doesn't agree!

find someone with something awkward to sell and ask for a private mortgage from them

mrcheerful

Impossible to save a deposit to get self cert mortgage.

You could try for a non-status mortgage, where they won't want to know your income, but you won't get more than about 75% of the purchase price so you'll need a fair deposit. Can you borrow this from a rich aunt? Or could you get a guarantor for a normal mortgage? Or could you share the mortgage with someone who's got some money and would like to invest in a property on a shared ownership arrangement?

Rob Graham

What did you buy it for, what did you sell it for ?

Are you saying that anyone who rents is in a hole ? Owning a house isn't essential.

Could you afford the cost of a mortage if you could get one ? Average rental yield (Rent / House price) is 4-5%. Sustainable (ie those without nasty tie ins) fixed and discount tracker mortgage rates are

5%.

Thereotically, £740pm at 5% will get you a 127,000 mortgage. Could you buy your current house with that ? This will enable you to compare renting with buying.

Daytona

1) Shared ownership. 2) Really buy the cheapest property you can find 3) Check out starter home deals from builders

4) - wait for [possible] crash 5) - earn more money 6) - tell wife to earn more money

7) Murder wife, collect life insurance, marry luscious divorcee, repeat

Is she insured? :)

Buy boat and live on it. Do not rent a fixed mooring. Pay navigation licence (about £400 pa), no liability for council tax, no water bill or electricity bill.

Robert

"Robert" wrote

Then where do you get your water & electricity from??

you generate your own electric if you need to, and fill the water from canal side filling points.

mrcheerful

"mrcheerful ." wrote

There's nothing special about the former for boat owners - house owners could also generate their own electricity if they so desired. But then the cost would be more than getting it from the National Grid!!

Are the "canal side filling points" very common, and do they get very busy??

When you live on a boat there is a tendency to be economical with electricity anyway (compared with a house) and you don't tend to have electric showers and water heating, you use gas for many things including light. The water points are every few miles and easy to access, likewise chemical toilet empty points. Except in the warmest holiday weather the entire canal system is almost unused and quite pleasant to live on.

mrcheerful

Big dose of shopping around? About 12 years ago I was in the position of only just having started my own business, absolutely no track record, no proof of earnings. The neighbours (Christians from Hell) were sending me up the wall and needed to move because they made it plain as hell they were never going to. Our lenders at the time refused to consider us for a mortgage.

We tried virtually every building society that we could find and ended up with three all quite happy to lend. In your case you can prove that you have met outgoings of £740 a month for rent year in, year out. So you are (IMO) in a relatively strong position provided that your mortgage does not exceed £740 a month. That should see you OK for up to about £100-£110,00o ish, is that sufficient?

I believe Richard Branson is a former boat person.

Exactly, why would anyone want to buy a house at the moment?