Dear Santa

A little old lady was having great difficulty making ends meet, and unless a modest windfall was going to be forthcoming pdq, then even Christmas Dinner was going to be limited to baked beans on toast.

After giving the matter a great deal of thought, begging not really being her style, she decided to write a letter to Santa, pouring her heart out, telling him her woes, and intimating that a gift of a hundred quid would go a long way towards lifting her dismal spirits, and would be most welcome.

After sealing the envelope, it struck her that she didn't know Santa's address, and for some strange reason she sent it care of the Inland Revenue.

The letter did the rounds of all the staff in the small local tax office, and they spontaneously decided to have a whip round. At the end of the day, the money in the hat came to a respectable £78, which was duly sent to the old lady, along with a "with compliments" slip signed by the office manager.

She was overjoyed and immediately wrote Santa a letter thanking him profusely for his generous gift. Before sending it off, again c/o the IR, she added a rider saying that if ever again he should be minded to send a bit of money to help her out, would he kindly send it directly, and not via the tax office, as the rotten bastards had gone and deducted £22 income tax.

Reply to
Ronald Raygun
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told a joke.... here's another! ================================= It is Christmas Eve and this chap is on a rooftop about to jump off.

His wife is leaving him for another man, he has lost his job and he owes thousands of pounds to the bank. Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump, Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder.

"Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas.

The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump.

"Stop!" shouts Father Christmas. "It is Christmas, I will grant you three wishes to solve your problems on the understanding that you will grant me a small favour in return!"

"Would you?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful!!...Thank you, thank you!"

Father Christmas promises him that:

  1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your return, she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.

  1. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue with your work. Your salary will have increased by 50%. Also, nobody will have any recollection of your sacking.

  2. You shall go to your bank and you will be ten thousand pounds in credit, you will have no outstanding bills.

"Oh thank you, thank you!" says the man. "What is it that I can do for you?"

Father Christmas asks the man to drop his pants and bend over.

After a quite brutal rogering, which made his eyes water, Father Christmas asks the man how old he is.

"36" replies the man.

"Ho, Ho, Ho, You're a bit old to believe in Father Christmas aren't you!?" chuckled the fat gay bastard in fancy dress.

================ Compliments of the season to one and all.

-----------------

Reply to
Dave

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