Seen on the DLR (its a fancy tram for non londoners)last night:
Barratt Homes advert for something new in Woolwich. A picture of a youngish, trendily dressed woman in the style of "been photocopied, then photocopy the copy, then repeat until a sort of black mess results". The text reads something like "working in a hospital, living in a terrace. Wants to try vertical living. Knows the area is up and coming so her investment is safe." Then at the bottom "1,2 and 3 bedroom apartments from 249,500"
Right, so lets assume this woman (age around 30) has a deposit of 10%. That means if shes borrowing at 3 times salary then her income is 75,000. So eithier:
a) Shes not really 30, shes actually 58 and a consultant brain surgeon. Shes had a lot of plastic surgery, has divorced her husband, he's got the kids otherwise there wouldn't be any way of getting them all into a one bed flat. b) She is really 30, but was incredibly precocious and went to university at the age of 6 to study medicine, qualified when she was 10, was fast tracked and is now a consultant brain surgeon. c) She is really 30, but the NHS has suddenly decided to start paying 30 year old doctors 75 grand a year d) She is really 30 and the NHS has decided to start paying 30 year old nurses 75 grand a year
Alternatively shes only borrowing 3 times her salary (shall we say 100k or so?) and:
e) Her parents have MEW'd the other 150k from their two bedroom council flat in brixton or f) Shes moving in with 3 friends. Into a one bedroom flat. They're obviously very good friends.
Eithier that, or:
g) Shes got a self cert loan, is borrowing 7 times her salary interest only, and when her introductory fixed rate runs out in two years shes going to be paying 8% SVR i.e. three quarters of her post tax salary on her mortgage; which won't leave much to drink in the trendy bars the advert picture implies she drinks in.
Unfortunately this is too many options for a poll.
Come on Barratt, be realistic:
A picture of a bloke in a suit with NHS glasses in the style of "been photocopied, then photocopy the copy, then repeat until a sort of black mess results". The text reads something like "just started his own hedge fund. Still lives with his parents. Wants his own pad so he can lose his virginity. Won't be hard to raise a quarter of a mill." Then at the bottom "1,2 and 3 bedroom apartments from 249,500"
Or
A picture of a bloke in a trenchcoat wearing sunglasses. The text reads something like "Buy to letter. Already owns fifty properties. Three percent yield, don't' care - capital growth you know what I mean. 250 grand? Better remortgage and release some equity on my portfolio. " Then at the bottom "1,2 and 3 bedroom apartments from 249,500"